I come not with peace, but with a sword

A pastor in the US state of Kentucky told his flock to bring handguns to church in what he said was an effort to promote safe gun ownership.

Pastor Ken Pagano told parishioners to bring their unloaded guns to New Bethel Church in Louisville for a service celebrating the right to bear arms. He said he acted after church members voiced fears the Obama administration could tighten gun control laws.

When the service began, some 200 people were present, AP news agency said. “We are wanting to send a message that there are legal, civil, intelligent and law-abiding citizens who also own guns,” Mr Pagano told the congregation. “If it were not for a deep-seated belief in the right to bear arms, this country would not be here today,” he said.

The pastor also held a handgun raffle, as well as providing information on gun safety.

- BBC News

And if it were not for a deep-seated belief in the right to bear arms, Dr George Tiller would be here today.

All together now…

… to the tune of ‘Comet’.

A new book claims the Spanish dictator, General Francisco Franco, may have had more in common with Adolf Hitler than previously known – having one testicle.

Much like the Nazi leader, Franco’s loss stemmed from an injury he suffered in battle, his doctor’s granddaughter told the historian Jose Maria Zavala.

Franco was wounded in the lower abdomen at El Biutz, near Ceuta, in June 1916.

Biographers have long speculated this affected the reproductive organs of the dictator, who ruled from 1939 to 1975. However, he did have a daughter, Carmen Franco y Polo, in 1926.

- BBC News

Black and Asian Britons “do not exist”

British National Party (BNP) chairman Nick Griffin has defended a party leaflet which says that black Britons and Asian Britons “do not exist”.

The BNP’s “Language and Concepts Discipline Manual” says the term used should be “racial foreigners”.

In a BBC interview, Mr Griffin said to call such people British was a sort of “bloodless genocide” because it denied indigenous people their own identity.

Mr Griffin is standing in the European Parliament elections in June…

The manual describes the BNP’s “ultimate aim” as the “lawful, humane and voluntary repatriation of the resident foreigners of the UK”.

- BBC News

Incendiary Immigration

PETROL is believed to have been introduced into the bilges of an asylum-seeker boat minutes before it exploded last Thursday, killing five of those on board.

As Kevin Rudd and Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono promised closer co-operation to stamp out people-smuggling yesterday, senior government sources told The Australian a strong build-up of petrol vapours was emerging as the likely cause of the fatal blast…

Yesterday, senior government sources told The Australian a naval boarding party aboard the doomed vessel, dubbed Suspected Illegal Entry Vessel 36, reported an “agitation” or disturbance on the boat about five minutes before the explosion occurred.

The report is consistent with a statement on Friday by the commanding officer of HMAS Albany, Lieutenant Commander Barry Learoyd, that naval personnel on the vessel had relayed a “high-threat” call five to six minutes after they boarded the boat. It is understood the smell of petrol vapour was detected by those on board.

The Defence Department last night released a 20-second video showing the burning vessel with a navy boat assisting asylum seekers who had been blown into the water. The navy rigid inflatable boat passes around the side of the boat and one of its crew appears to lean over the edge, apparently attempting to haul one of the passengers aboard…

Dozens of injured are now being treated in hospitals in Brisbane, Darwin and Perth. Burns surgeon Michael Muller said the nature of the burns suffered by those on board – so-called “flash burns” – were further indications petrol was the main source of the explosion.

A senior government source said investigators believed petrol was introduced into the boat’s bilges, rather than the deck, as has been widely reported. The bilges are a boat’s lowest compartment situated below the deck, an ideal place for a vapour cloud to form.

“It seems pretty clear it was a petrol explosion,” the source said.

“We believe it was a closed-deck, in-board explosion, possibly deliberate.”

- The Australian

Snakes on a Plane!

Where’s Samuel L Jackson when you need him?

An Australian airliner was grounded after four baby pythons escaped from their container in the aircraft’s hold.

The snakes, just six inches long, were among 12 Stimson’s pythons being flown from Alice Springs to Melbourne.

At first it was thought the reptiles may have been eaten by the other snakes, but this was discounted after they were weighed on landing.

Passengers were transferred to other aircraft. The jet was fumigated but the snakes’ bodies are yet to be found.

“They’re not endangered so a decision was made to fumigate…if these snakes turn up they will be very much dead snakes,” David Epstein of Qantas said.

- BBC News

Lenin lays explosive egg

One of Russia’s most famous statues of Vladimir Lenin has been bombed, leaving the Bolshevik revolutionary with a gaping hole in his rear.

The bronze statue, in the city of St Petersburg, was badly damaged before dawn on Wednesday, when the blast blew a hole in Lenin’s coat. No-one was hurt in the attack, the motive for which was unknown.

The statue, outside the Finland Station, marks the Bolshevik leader’s return from exile in April 1917.

“Today at 0430 [0030 GMT] there was an explosion at the Lenin monument at the Finland Station in the city centre,” a spokesman for the Saint Petersburg branch of the Russian emergency situations ministry told the AFP news agency.

“As a result of the explosion a crater of 80-100cm [31-39in] appeared on the monument,” he added.

Lenin gave a speech at the railway station after his return from exile. Later that year he would lead the revolution that overthrew the government and would take the Communists to power for more than 70 years.

- BBC News

It’s raining pies, Alleluja!

One man has died and six others have been injured in an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield.

The explosion happened at Andrew Jones Pies on Old Leeds Road, close to the town centre, just after 0500 BST. Police said seven employees, all male, were working in the building at the time of the explosion.

The dead man, a 38-year-old from Salterhebble, Halifax, died at the scene. A 23-year-old from Crossland Moor, Huddersfield, is critically ill. Police said he was being treated at Huddersfield Royal Infirmary…

The award-winning Andrew Jones Pies has been established in the town for many years and supplies a number of supermarkets.

On its website, the company said: “Due to unforeseen circumstances, the pie factory and our shops will remain closed until further notice.”

- BBC News

Sad that a man has died, but why is it my first thought was the football chant:

Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies?
You fat bastard! YOU fat bastard!
You ate all the pies!

and this scene from Monty Python’s film “The Meaning of Life”.

The “Doh!” is in the oven

In these times of financial uncertainty people don’t have money to burn.

However, one Norfolk barman is now feeling the heat after he saw £1,000 in takings go up in smoke.

Luke Woolston feared his job at the Jolly Farmers at Ormesby St Margaret, near Yarmouth, may have been shot down in flames after he put a night’s profits in the pub’s oven to keep safe.

But, unfortunately, the 19-year-old did not realise the oven was turned on at a low heat and within an hour the crisp £10 and £20 notes had been burned or destroyed.

To make matters worse for Luke he had also placed part of the pub till in the oven and it soon melted around the money.

Following Thursday night’s blunder, Luke thought that landlord Martin Talbot would give him the boot for damaging and destroying the £1,000, after he came home and found the cash burning slowly in the oven.

Luckily, Mr Talbot showed his generous side by allowing his embarrassed employee to keep his post – although the barman is now being gently chided by the pub’s regulars for his mistake.

And to help Luke save face, the pub is taking down all the notes’ serial numbers so that, hopefully, the Bank of England can reissue them.

- EDP24. The BBC has film.